he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
