Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
