It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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