he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
