I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
