I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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