dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
