It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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