Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize