Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
