So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize