Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
