Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
