Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
