We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
