This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize