hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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