My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize