It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
