How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
