So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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