made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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