i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize