The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
