just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
