forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
