Everything about him screamed your future.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
