Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
