these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
