You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i just had sex bonerless
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
