Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
