Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
