Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
