i can't believe i had my finger in that
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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