It's Friday. Sex?
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
