I wanna bring you to show and tell
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize