We're facebook friends in real life
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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