Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
