I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
