Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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