I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
