see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
