so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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