He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
well, you know. whores of a feather.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
