I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
