I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize