why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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