I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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