I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Randomize
