Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
