I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
