As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
This is the high leading the old right now
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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