I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
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Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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