Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
