Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
