By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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