We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
