I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the condom got lost in my hair
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
