I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
