did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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