wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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