The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
