when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
