Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
