I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
