so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Randomize
