whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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