the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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