ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize