And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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