Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
