he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize