glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
