I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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