I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You may now shotgun with the bride
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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