Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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