Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
