Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
