Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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