i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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