This is not my ceiling
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
