He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
