If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
